Tuesday’s episode was gut-wrenching to say the least. Watching how cold the brother’s interactions were and how painfully obvious it was that Dean wasn’t taking it so well was hard for this fangirl to watch. When we first see them talk it’s involving a new case Dean has found after a sleepless night. Sam checks in with Dean to make sure he’s really okay with what they discussed during last week’s episode (being hunters and not brothers…) Dean plays it off as if it’s nothing all while holding his drink of choice Whiskey. We’re made to believe that this is taking place in the morning with coffee, cereal, and Sam asking about Dean’s sleep so it’s that much more obvious that contrary to what he says, Dean is drinking his breakfast and therefore not doing well emotionally. As we’ve seen in previous seasons, drinking is how Dean copes with depression and loss. We are already off to an emotionally rocky start. Honestly, seeing Sam be so matter-of-fact and seemingly unaware of Dean’s drinking reminds me of “soulless Sam” of seasons past. Does he notice the glass of whiskey and non-sleep his “co-hunter” is getting? Sure he’s your brother but as you clearly stated before, that can no longer be taken into account when they work together. But wouldn’t you want your co-hunter to protect you and be on their best game? Even using your heartless logic Sam this doesn’t lead to a healthy (working) relationship.
Side Note: The scene with Dean and his donut at the police station was one of my highlight, especially in such a somber episode. One of the only times we saw Dean in a “happy place” was when he was enjoying his deep fried treat. ..Classic Dean Moment.
Next we see them interview for the trainers positions at the Wellness Spa in order to go undercover and find this week’s monster. I found this interesting because they told the interviewers that they were brothers when they really didn’t have to. They’ve gone undercover before without being “brothers” correct? (Tell me if I’m wrong). I might be hypersensitive to the word “brothers” when used by either Winchester but nonetheless it stood out in my mind. As I was watching it a second time, I got the feeling that maybe Dean is “overselling” the idea as a means to hide his true feelings. Outside of this scene (and the amazing donut experience we witnessed earlier) we only saw him somber, drinking, and relatively low energy. Dean feels the need to make them believe they are brothers while Sam feels he must convince them that they are passionate about people’s health. Perfect symbolism for how the brothers engage with their current issue (being brothers vs. saving people). Being brothers has always been on Dean’s top priority, while saving others and hunting evil has been Sam’s main motivation. Also interesting how Sam words their “passion for fitness and helping people” in comparison to “saving people, hunting things” family motto.
For me, the next big brother moment is when Dean is “drugged” after sampling some of the pudding served to the clients before there fat is “sucked” away. His call for help to Sam, whom he affectionately calls “Sammy”, spoke volumes into where his mind goes when uninhibited. He calls for help from his little brother because he knows Sammy will come through. He utters what will forever be known as the safe word for fans and fangirls alike, “Sweet Potatoes”. It’s enough detail for Sam to know where to look at least!
Now that they know the clients are being drugged and sucked (not in the good way as Dean might add) their next move is to question the Sheriff from the beginning of the episode who is seen by Sam attending the Wellness program. She brings up an interesting detail that I only noticed upon my second viewing. She mentions her husband leaving her because she loved cookie-dough milkshakes more than she loved him. Although a bit of a reach, I did enjoy the watching the sheriff talk about her own family issues juxtaposed with the Winchesters and their current family discussion of love and how much value each place on those relationships.
The next brother moment came when Sam was in danger as they boys searched the basement for Alonso,who turns out to be the monster that brought the Winchesters there in the first place. Of course he turned the lights out so he could go on a fat-sicking spree and leave our boys with nothing but flashlights to see. Sam gets pinned down by Alonso until Dean shows up and cuts off the…tongue? Head? Whatever it is, once it was gone so was the monster. In any other episode this might have just been a plot point, but in this episode it feels much more than that…especially when Dean brings it up during their heartbreaking chat at the end of the episode, but I’ll discuss that later.
The scene when they discuss killing the sister feeling significant in giving insight into Sam’s frame of reference. The writers actually have him say “I still have a heart” which brings me back to my “soulless Sam” comment earlier. Yes Sam wants to be strictly business but only when it comes to Dean. He is not soulless and does feel for the nice monsters they encounter. He always has and he always will. My issue with Sam’s question to Dean about deserving to die when possessed by Gadreel is that he is using what he knows to be Dean’s soft-spot against him when Dean is trying to follow the rules he believed Sam set in the previous conversation. Dean wants to keep it “strictly business” and not think about emotional attachments to anyone! No friendly monsters, no friends, and definitely not Sam. While he couldn’t never pull that off, he is gonna give it his all (as we’ve seen clearly throughout this episode.) Now we have Sam asking him to tap into those emotions he has for Sam to defend this week’s monster that did not harm anyone and is only guilty by association (and being a monster…but I digress).
Now to discuss the final chat the boys have back in the bunker. As we learned last week, these chats can be cold and often break millions of fangirl hearts. I watched with baited breath to see what Dean had to say. With a glass of whiskey in his hand Dean decides to give his two-cents on the terms Sam laid out should they continue to hunt together. This conversation clearly (and gut-wrenchingly) represents just how differently the boys view their jobs as hunters, family, and the value of each others lives. Dean starts off by saying that he may not think before he acts but that his actions are always aligned with what he felt to be the right thing. Sam’s response, while painful to hear, is that Dean’s meter of measuring good and bad is skewed when it comes to Sam. Dean would allow others to die if it meant Sam gets to live and that’s not something Sam wants anymore. I have to confess that I was in tears when I heard Sam reply to Dean’s hypothetical switch-situation so matter-of-factly. Sam says, “No Dean. I wouldn’t (save you)” and my heart sank farther than I thought possible. Thinking how Dean heard those words and how painful to feel his reality that his own brother would let him die, and hearing Sam acknowledge that he would let this happen was excruciating. I’m having a hard time expressing the differences here, but this tumblr post I read ellquently says what I’m having trouble saying:
http://lovedsam.tumblr.com/post/75679159492/if-you-love-someone-let-them-go-yeah-really
They view their roles as family and as hunters differently. This conversation along with many others we’ve seen them have in the past, illustrates these differences all too well. Sam was ready to die for the cause and complete the trials to rid the world of so much evil and suffering at the hands of angels and demons alike. But Dean wasn’t ready to let him go and I don’t think Dean will ever be ready for the day when Sam isn’t alive. It’s a reality everyone has to deal with when they love someone (mother, brother, sister, etc.) Although it hurt to hear it, Sam needed to say that Dean saved him for selfish reasons. Had it been any other hunter in Sam’s place he would have allowed it, or so I assume.
In Sam’s defense, many things in his life have been decided for him and that’s not something he’s gonna tolerate anymore, especially not from Dean. But he said this in such a cold and uncaring way. After only 2 weeks of being apart it’s understandable that Sam is hurt and angry with Dean for what he did. I don’t hold that against him. But it’s also true that he said some pretty hurtful things about Dean that will have a ripple affect throughout the remainder of the season. Dean is lonely now but he would have been painfully alone if he had allowed Sam to continue the trials and die. I don’t believe Dean’s only motivation was saving Sam for selfish reasons. He has given his entire life to keeping Sam safe and that is not something that Dean will easily let go of regardless of the cause (as mentioned in the tumblr post linked above). I believe Dean was unaware of Sam’s feelings and honestly believed this is what Sam would do for him should their roles be switched and that made it the right thing to do.
Both Winchesters are acting in ways they believe to be the right, the hard part is they view right and wrong, good and evil, family and hunter very differently.
Needless to say, this was a fantastically executed episode with brilliant acting from both Jensen and Jared along with great movement in the brother storyline. While many fangirls are sad (and I am definitely one of them believe me) I still feel this was a necessary part of their story. I have waited a long time for them to be this honest and vulnerable with one another about this issue. While it hurt like hell, it was a move in the right direction. I have faith in the writers and crew to know how to bring our favorite brothers together again. They just have a longer road to travel than they have done in previous seasons. The road may be longer, but honesty will help properly build trust and make the outcome of this journey that much sweeter.
The End
Everyday Erika 